Journal

Leaving my little girl Asia was really hard - I couldn't stop crying - just seeing her face and her bright eyes looking innocently at me before I Left. I mean I know I was leaving her in good hands but I'm her mother - and mom knows best - and the fact that she filled up my life with such joy just made me feel really guilty and empty about leaving her. But performing in London is a vision I've had for many years. When I was 12 I thought I'd be the lead singer in a grunge band - touring the UK and the United States month after month. So ok it's just a week here but we got some fantastic performances at great venues here!

Charlie Busuttil - who happens to be one of Malta's finest guitarists joined us - as he is now forming part of our singer/songwriter ensemble. Not only is he fantastic at what he does - but we could really relate as he also has left a family behind - with a 2 and half year old son and his wife with a baby on the way. So we do talk about our families and the heartache about leaving them, even if it's just for a few days.  We shared our stories and laughs about watching BABY Tv most of the time - we also sang most of the songs - with out favourite happening to be 'Where is Grandpa'. 

Keith - must of thought we are losing it - but he does join in the conversation about our kids.

The hotel we are in reminds me of the movie Scarface - 70's rock'n'roll - and it's a hotel most bands stay at when they come over for gigs.

On our first night in London - we went out for a few beers and a bite with a friend of Keith's who lives in London. I definitely wanted to call it a night and go back to the hotel for some good sleep. Keith on the other hand is one hell of a party animal and decided to try and find a good spot for himm to party at. However, being a Monday night most places were closed , so he also had to retire back at the hotel. Not even London could keep up with Keith's Wild Ways. He worries me sometimes - I'm also afraid that him being so clumsy and eccentric that he just might get mugged or get lost somewhere. We're thinking of buying him a leash. You know for his own well being. Hehehe.

On Tuesday we walked to Portobello Road and the shops were great! Vintage clothes - cool people and lots of shopping! I'm a shopaholic and London is really the place to be to shop, especially if you like edgy, hippie stuff. So after spending most of the day walking around and almost getting run over by a bus - we decided to get to the hotel just to rest before our performance that evening at the ElectroAcoustic Club at the Slaughtered Lamb.

As soon as we arrived at the Slaughtered Lamb we discovered that the place had a flood and so soundcheck had to be delayed....so we decided to wait in the restaurant and have a bite to eat. I must say that English Food does not go down well with me. Battered Sausages and Chips are just not my thing.

Well we got a soundcheck 3 hours after arriving and the sound was great. To our surprise a couple of gozitans based in London came to see us for their very first time. They were very supportive and enjoyed the show. It was a very warm and attentive crowd and our songs came through just the way we wanted them to. The great thing too is that we managed to watch some wonderful artists as well. Kerry Leatham happened to be my very favourite - a fresh new talent with so much to offer. She just blew us away. With an incredible voice - interpretation and songwriting.

The next day, our PR Sam Brown arrived, something we were really looking forward to as we really needed someone to represent us while we're there. It's always better when you have someone that knows a lot about the music business in the UK.

So after Sam arrived on an early flight - although with a lack of sleep - we all went to Camden Town ( my favourite place in London) . We loved it there - you'll find anything there and all the people around creative with their own style. It's really fascinating to see all these different type of people .  So we shopped around and had some lunch and then it started to pour! The weather was vert wintery - crispy cold and rainy. But I really don't mind it. I'm not a hot weather person at all...I like the cold, the clouds and long coats.

We headed back to the hotel and had only an hour to get ready before our soundcheck at The Regal Room.

The Regal Room was a fantastic venue, very intimate and cosy. It was packed with people and we've witnessed something we rarely get to encounter during gigs..perfect silence. The audience are just there to listen to the music , there's no chit chatting during the songs and the audience is just embracing whatever the artist is there to perform.

Our performance went very well and the gig was also broadcast on the internet . We got to enjoy other performances as well and meet with the other artists which is always one of my favourite parts of these gigs. It's just really fascinating to meet new people with take or leave a little the same vision, to make a sound in the music industry. 

We're always very hungry after a gig and some drinking so we headed off to a chicken place. Needless to say Keith had us in stitches laughing with the things he does and say. This time it was about beans. He was sure that he did not want 'kidney beans' with his chicken and fries. Of course , there was nothing about kidney beans on the menu, but he kept insisting to the guy behind the counter that he did not want any kidney beans and that he only wanted coleslaw. What they really had on the menu was baked beans..anyway at the end he came to realize that he should have had the beans and so he went up to the counter and told him 'I want my Kidney Beans'. That is True Keith Fashion. But of course we love Keith for this as we laughed all night about it. I could go on and on about the things Keith says and does - but some things are better left untold.

The next day was the day we had meetings with PR companies. Which went really well I must say. Then we went off to shop once again. Man , I've never walked so much in my life , even if I do love shopping , if I ever get rich and famous, I really want someone to do my shopping, somebody that knows my taste - because my toes really can't handle all that walking. But it was great fun, Sam and I - went off to Oxford Street and did all our shopping. While Keith and Charlie went off to Denmark Street to check out the several guitar shops.

That night was one of the nights that we have been really waiting for. Performing at the Troubador. We only got the gig that very week. When Sam our PR just thought she'd try to call the place and see if she could get us on - when in the first place we were only gonna go watch some performances there. The person that manages the place thought it was such an unusual request that someone would just phone up last minute requesting a band to perform that week - usually they send press kits and wait for months and years to play there - the lady thought it was just meant to be and she thought I sounded a little bit like Suzanne Vega and so we got the gig! Which was so great ! I must say , Sam is an extremely powerful and hardworking PR , who just really does all this work because she truly believes in us and just loves our music.

So we had some delicious food at The Troubador and a quick soundcheck, we then waited for our time to go on. I always feel very ill in my stomach before but this time it was much worse, I also tend to go millions of miles away in my head and it seems like everything around me is just noise - really loud noise - the people , the music in the background - everything just seems to be a blur. Once we were on though - all that seems clear is us and the music - and although the place was a bit noisy - we still managed to capture the audience's attention. Even though the sound on stage was pretty shitty - it just makes me concentrate 100% more on the words and the feel of the music. Soometimes playing in a hard atmosphere is a great test and makes you work harder to get the message across .

We got to meet some very interesting people in the music industry - like Arthur Louis who played with the likes of Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix . Our friend Mario Grech Xerri brought him along . We also got to meet Fraser Gregory - a maltese/gozitan musician who is now based in London - he had fronted The Beangrowers some years ago and is now a singer songwriter , writing and recording his album in London. He brought along Peter Godwin - a songwriter who has written for David Bowie and also lately Steve Winwoods new album. It was a great experience to speak with people of such experience and respect in the music business.

The next day was our final gig in London -  in the morning we took it a little easier - just having a stroll at Hyde Park , where our hotel was situated. The last night was the concert at The Borderline - playing support to a very talented Australian singer/ songwriter Lior. The Borderline is situated in Soho - probably one of the most happening places in London, it was a Friday night and it was packed - all the pubs were full. So when our time came to perform the club was already packed to it's maximum capacity - the crowd was full of Australians and I must say they were a bit noisy - drinking and chatting , but we still managed to pull most of the crowd's attention and had a great applause. Afterwards we also managed to get some feedback from some people in the audience . I was really looking forward to watching Lior perform , he totally blew me away, his voice, his performance, interpretation and most of all the communication with the audience. I managed to get his Cd's autographed - which I'm really proud of , as I don't think I have ever seen anyone that touched me with their performance as he has.

As I looked upon The Borderline's entrance walls, I saw signed photos of the Artists that played there - R.E.M. , Emmy Lou Harris, Sheryl Crow, Lenny Kravitz, Damien Rice, Rage Against the Machine, Debbie Harry, Jeff Buckley.

All those that I listened to throughout the years, and I of course being the dreamer that I am - imagining a picture of us amongst these legends, Chasing Pandora played the Borderline , London, August 2008. Then I noticed my bottle of beer was empty and I really needed another one - before I go down that road I've been on many times.

So I do think these performances went really well, and that maybe some people who have never heard of us would go and tell their friends about us, who in turn would tell their friends about that little band from Gozo. From my side , I do think that I have came back to Gozo wiser, happier, more confident and willing to make this happen for us. I've learnt that an artist's world is one of many challenges, heartbreak and utmost commitment.  One of true expression and a road full of diversity and true stories, the sky is the limit with songwriting, no two notes are the same, words come alive and music becomes the soundtrack of your life. A musicians life is based on telling stories - of communication and making new friends and seeing new faces from the stage and wondering what  that particular person in front of you - listening to you-  thinking at this moment, while they hear your music for the very first time. It's a strange feeling but I like strange and I really don't ever want to be a fuckin secretary in an office again, and whether I'll manage to cross the Maltese waters or stay writing poetry in my room while my daughter sleeps - this is all I am gonna do for the rest of my life.

A real big thank you goes out to Harry Farmer - who really made these gigs possible for us in the UK. 

To Sam Brown - who left her 4 children behind to be with us for our first gigs in London - while being this strong , solid woman who makes everything possible.

To Steve Brown - our manager who just doesn't sleep enough because he is determined to make us stars. Wish you could of seen us live in London and thank you for taking me out of the gutter.

Thank you to our management company - Tickety-boo Malta - you are the most powerful machine in this world.

Thanks also goes out to Matthew Green who photographed us during our gigs in London and to our loyal Gozitan fans in London - who made it to each and every one of our gigs.

* No one was hurt during the Chasing Pandora mini tour in London - although I must say - that Keith almost got run over by a bus, a cyclist - and also called a very important person in the music biz. Kali.-       Bless*